Down with burritos!

Somewhere, someone envies you.

Yesterday started off like any other lazy Sunday. I was dressed in track pants and an obnoxious T-shirt that reads "Keep talking, I like watching your lips move..." I was busy working on the perfect bite of my Chipotle carnitas burrito when I realized that there is something inherently wrong with eating something that weighs more than your purse. As I licked a wayward dollop of guacamole off my lip, I caught her looking at me from her booth across the aisle.

Her frizzy, mouse-brown hair was trying desperately to escape the confines of her velour scrunchy. She was wearing a light green T-shirt that had been washed so much, it looked powdery. It did nothing to hide the rolls at her midsection and clashed badly with her pink sweats and gray flipflops. She had no qualms about eating her burrito, and I spied a second one in her plastic basket. I turned back to my Town and Country and considered my options for the rest of the day.

I had planned on going to World Market to find a bottle of the Australian red I'd tried at my favorite restaurant last week. She was probably headed for Safeway to get tuna noodle casserole ingredients. My next stop was to Blockbuster to get a couple of movies. She was probably on her way home to feed her cats. I wasn't trying to be unkind; I just didn't want to end up like that.

With a resolve I didn't quite feel in every bone of my body, I put down the second half of my burrito and gathered up my things. I felt her gaze on me as I tossed it all in the trashcan (oops--even the plastic basket) and hopped in my car. It was much too nice of a day to spend inside eating burritos.